"Redeeming Love"

Redeeming Love.
I looked at the cover.
I do not want to read this.
Last I heard someone teach on Hosea, I sobbed. I haven't even been able to read Hosea for the past three years since. I wasn't going to be vulnerable, and I for sure wasn't going to let myself get hurt. No way was I gonna read that!
Well, days have rolled by and we been doing lots of errands - I was getting just a tad board. I saw the book and though a second moment about it - well, at least it will be better than sitting and being board out of my brain. So I picked it up. We hadn't left yet so I opened it - my mind half thinking about the book and half thinking about everything else that needed to be done. I studied the cover - and opened the pages.
I read the dedication; to all those who hurt and hunger. I twinged.
I turned the next page and read the title of the set of chronicles; child of darkness. That didn't really want to make me read it more. I flipped to the next page - and started to read the prologue. I felt like I was about to step into her dark world and I was afraid.
Truthfully, I didn't even know who "she" would be. Except, I knew she was hurt, lost and felt used and worthless and didn't dare trust the one man who could save her.
Below the prologue title there was a quote, it was of Shakespeare; "the price of darkness is a gentleman."
I read the first couple sentences; I found that "she" was Sarah. I read two more sentences. I was in Sarah's world for just a few moments. I looked up and we were leaving. I left Sarah in the first pages of the prologue and clutched the book close to my chest and walked out into the snow. I looked at the cover again. I was afraid to open the pages - to go back into her dark world. I felt sick to my stomach. I took a deep breath. I would join Sarah on her journey - I would dare to be a on-looker; watching transparent lives, come to life on these pages.
There was a point in this book.
A lesson to be learned from the characters.
A dear hope woven through the words and pages by the author.
Would I get it though?
Would I grasp the love of God for once in my life?!
Or would I just become bitter and hard, and guard my heart even more?
Why couldn't things just stay the way they are? I've made it this far, and I really didn't want to dig up the things that I've kept deep and buried - then I heard His voice sweetly speak, "Because then you'll miss the wonderful things I have in store for you. And there are places I won't take you until you know my love and understand what that makes you; it makes you Mine, and it makes you free. And that is what makes you special."