"Making Room..."

It's Christmas.

Today is the day we celebrate Jesus' birth.

Last night I finished Redeeming Love.

I had to. I wasn't going to be sulking around on Christmas in despair. It was 12:30 before I finished it. I couldn't let Angel, the name given to Sarah once she was sold into prostitution, live without knowing and understanding what freedom, true freedom was.

Free from the past.

Free from the ugly soul inside you.

Free from the voices demeaning your worth.

Free from guilt.

Free from the lies that say you can never be anything else.

Free to believe that Christ's love completes you and cleanses and changes everything.

Free to be grasp that if we are vulnerable to His love we will be forever safe.

Free to understand that we are undeserving of everything good; but that He gives it anyway.
After all thats what today is all about - isn't it?
Years ago on a moonless night stars shone so brightly - the air smelled strangely sweet and thick. There was something there, out there, somewhere. People from around the world came to the humble town of Bethlehem, a small town, their home town. Weary travelers came looking for places to lodge, inns filled quickly. The lit candles that were put in the windows to beckon drained sojourners for lodging were quickly snuffed out; there was no room.

Not only was Bethlehem a small town, but in this small town in the humblest of dwellings is where God said, "this is where I choose to become a man." God, the Maker and Creator of the universe chose to come to a humble town and stay in the humblest and dirtiest places; a stable.
A place for animals. It smelled, it was dirty, and it was cold. Yet He chose to come there - He chose to hang there, He chose to come here; my heart. My heart - in me! As dirty and filthy as I am - He chose to come to me.

But am I willing? Will I light the candle in the window and say yes come in Jesus, there is room for You? Will I be willing to become open and vulnerable so He can come in? Angel wouldn't. She wouldn't open her heart and love, in fear of letting someone in, you could get hurt. But when she didn't the darkness taunted her; demeaning her, feeding her lies and making sure her defeats had been known.
But at last - last night in the wee hours of the morning as I read of California in the late 1800s, Angel made room, for once she opened the door, lit the candle in the window and ask for God to come in and minister to her hurting soul. He did. He came. He came in and where He is no darkness can be. Nothing to taunt her, degrading her - Sarah was free when she let Him in - Angel found true freedom for the first time. Because He came.

I want to be free - I want to believe. I want the taunting to stop, the lies to go away and the darkness gone. I will make room - I will hold my candle high and say, "Jesus there is room for You here!" I will chose to live forgiven and free.
And today I celebrate that He came.
In a manger, in a stable, in a humble town, to a gruesome cross, a cold grave and alive again. And in my heart.

Thank you Jesus for coming so many Christmas' ago. Come into my heart once more and make me Yours; because Jesus, there is room here!

Merry Christmas and Blessings on your New Year!

- In Him

"Redeeming Love"

Redeeming Love.
I looked at the cover.
I do not want to read this.
Last I heard someone teach on Hosea, I sobbed. I haven't even been able to read Hosea for the past three years since. I wasn't going to be vulnerable, and I for sure wasn't going to let myself get hurt. No way was I gonna read that!
Well, days have rolled by and we been doing lots of errands - I was getting just a tad board. I saw the book and though a second moment about it - well, at least it will be better than sitting and being board out of my brain. So I picked it up. We hadn't left yet so I opened it - my mind half thinking about the book and half thinking about everything else that needed to be done. I studied the cover - and opened the pages.
I read the dedication; to all those who hurt and hunger. I twinged.
I turned the next page and read the title of the set of chronicles; child of darkness. That didn't really want to make me read it more. I flipped to the next page - and started to read the prologue. I felt like I was about to step into her dark world and I was afraid.
Truthfully, I didn't even know who "she" would be. Except, I knew she was hurt, lost and felt used and worthless and didn't dare trust the one man who could save her.
Below the prologue title there was a quote, it was of Shakespeare; "the price of darkness is a gentleman."
I read the first couple sentences; I found that "she" was Sarah. I read two more sentences. I was in Sarah's world for just a few moments. I looked up and we were leaving. I left Sarah in the first pages of the prologue and clutched the book close to my chest and walked out into the snow. I looked at the cover again. I was afraid to open the pages - to go back into her dark world. I felt sick to my stomach. I took a deep breath. I would join Sarah on her journey - I would dare to be a on-looker; watching transparent lives, come to life on these pages.
There was a point in this book.
A lesson to be learned from the characters.
A dear hope woven through the words and pages by the author.
Would I get it though?
Would I grasp the love of God for once in my life?!
Or would I just become bitter and hard, and guard my heart even more?
Why couldn't things just stay the way they are? I've made it this far, and I really didn't want to dig up the things that I've kept deep and buried - then I heard His voice sweetly speak, "Because then you'll miss the wonderful things I have in store for you. And there are places I won't take you until you know my love and understand what that makes you; it makes you Mine, and it makes you free. And that is what makes you special."

"Prologue"

I'm sitting in the living room - enjoying the heat of the wood burning stove and drowning out the dull humming of the fan.
I can hear my family talking in the other room.
You can't see out the windows of the west wall because it's dark. But you can see the reflection of all the Christmas lights and candles scattered about the house.
It's beautiful.
It's good to be home.
I was even daring enough leave to ALL my school books back in the Valley. Okay, not ALL my books - I brought my medical encyclopedia, dictionary with me; you'll never know when you might need that! As I was packing to come home for Christmas Laura, my host sister, said I should bring a book with me; the one that she had put on my desk which had been sitting there past two months. "I know you'll be home with your family - but you should take it. Make an effort. For me; just take it with you, you might get around to it."
I looked at the book. I had been avoiding it the entire term; but I smiled at Laura and grabbed the book and put it in the box. I'm not going to read that. I thought to myself. I won't even have the time. Besides my folks will want me spending time with the family, not wrapped up in some book. That's it - it will be a good excuse. I looked up and smiled at Laura.
It's not like I don't like to read...I love reading. I'm a book-a-holic! I could walk in a book store as long as if not longer than my favorite clothing store - and that's sayin' something!

I sort of forgot about the book when I got home, until my Mama asked about it. I said I brought it back with me and that Laura had wanted me to read it, but I didn't want to. My Mama inquired why.
"I don't know, it's kidna got an interesting story line. It's based off of the book of Hosea."
She just looked at me - it's not like she didn't know what Hosea is about. It was more like that 'what did you learn in Sunday school and tell me about it' type look. "It's about a harlot, a prostitute and how a godly man marries her as a word from the Lord and loves her no matter what. To show her what true love is - kinda of a type of Christ with us, you know?"
"Hmmm."
"But because of the content I didn't know if I really wanted to read it." I was sure this would get me off the hook.
"I'll skim through it for you - and let you know."
"Yeah that would be great - let me know what you think."
Well she read it - and said "Well it's not one that you can "skim". I don't think its a easy read, especially for someone like you and me. I'm not sure why, but understanding and accepting God's love is just hard for us. But I think it would be a really good read. Especially with the recent events, Sarah. And I think you should read it here at home, where you can kinda let your guard down and really take it as it is."

Great. I thought - there is still no way I'm reading it. It's Christmas, I have tons to do helping around the house, because Em can't this year - I'll totally have my hands full. Besides, who wants to go through all that "stuff" when it's Christmas time?

...back that cart up

So if flying home wasn't crazy enough - flying back, or the lack there of, has been the worse. When I went to the air port to fly out - little did I know that for the last three days flights have been canceled into the local airport. (the one I NEED to fly into) Oh boy....

So tonight we are going try this one more time! I've made a couple calls - some say "yah" some say "nay" and it's looking like the "nays" just might have it. The fog has been so bad - that flights haven't been coming and flights haven't been getting there. There is a chance that the flight could take off, but there is a better chance that the flight might be re-routed. That would be a bummer. The LAST thing I wanna do is fly into a city at midnight trying to get home - I would rather drive....which we might just do!

Time to head out....where I'm not sure. Well the airport - but we might just turn around and come back home!

Lord Bless
- In Him

whao nelly...

Okay - today has been crazy! Maybe it's just the fact that I really wanted to just go home and everything was just a topper that I REALLY wanted to go home.

Anatomy was crazy - we learned that the muscles in your stomach that have special properties so that when they stretch like when you eat to much on Thanksgiving, they can still contract and process your food. Great uh? Then we watch a video of some renowned scientist that my teacher was pretty stoked about, so the renowned scientist cut open a cadaver live...it was really interesting. A couple of people in the audience looked like they were about to lose it. Super interesting, kinda gross.

Just to top off the day - (I'm just hitting the major points of the day) - I check in for my flight and it tells me that my flight has been delayed....two hours! Oh boy. I already had two hours to wait in the first place. Gracious me.

Just thought I'd tell you all. Super can't wait to get home though!!!! So happy! So I'm gonna hop to and work on my homework; memorizing muscles. Fun Fun....Have a great Thanksgiving! Eat TONS cuz your smooth muscles in your stomach will still have enough tension to contract and digest your FOOD! Wonderful is it not?!
Lord Bless,
- In Him

Coming home....

HI All,
I'm sorry I haven't updated it a ton - but I want to say I'm coming home soon and I can NOT wait! I'm so excited to come home! I have a quick couple min.

Thank you so much for you prayers! I made it through mid-terms - there is a God! Praise the Lord! If you could pray for diligence in this last stretch of my first term (out of 7? I think?) Goodness me... *sigh*

God is good! Thank you for your prayer, love and support! I love and miss you all!
- In Him

Last day of long hair

Last day of long hair...ok so maybe it's not long to you or long compared to the Lion Heart's hair but it is to me! Thank You Lord for this time!

Thank You for Your grace and Your perfect plan for my life. Help me to walk in the way You have for me and let me not forget the vision and dream You've put in my heart. Thank You for setting me apart and that I am Your's.
In Jesus Name, Amen!

Thanks to my sis who is 9 and took this picture! Your awesome George - your gonna make a great photographer!

The Nazirite

Numbers 6. Talks about the Nazirite Vow. It was a vow of....well I think I'll let you read it for yourself.

"Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
'Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: 'When either a man or woman consecrates an offering to take the vow of a Nazirite, to separate himself to the LORD...

.....'All the days of the vow of his separation no razor shall come upon his head; until the days are fulfilled for which he separated himself to the LORD, he shall be holy. Then he shall let the locks of the hair of his head grow.....'"

Numbers 6.1-2, 5

A man or woman could take this vow and consecrate, set apart for a holy or sacred purpose, themselves for a set time that they would decide; for that time they were set apart for God and God alone. There were certain requirements for this time that you were a Nazirite; you couldn't eat or drink anything made of grapes, you couldn't touch dead things and you couldn't cut your hair. At the end of the appointed time you were to cut your hair.

About 8 months ago I decided I wanted to be consecrated to Him. A man or a woman could take the vow; so during the time a went to school and did EMT, until I moved I would be a Nazirite. Now in a sense we, the church, are Nazirites - we are set apart for God. But I wanted something more - that I wouldn't get sidetracked, I would lose the vision; what all this training was for, and I wouldn't stray. Not cutting my hair for 8 months wouldn't keep me from straying but it was there to reminded me; I wasn't one of them, I wasn't the world. Fun, work and adrenaline was great but it was getting me ready for what He had in store; the goal was Africa for God's glory. I didn't want to forget that. There were times when I lived and it wasn't all for the glory of God - to my regret today. A time when I explored rebellion - and wanted to taste what Babylon called "fun". But for those times when you come home empty; there is grace. Praise the Lord for that. It's been a time I won't forget - it's been a season unlike any other.

But, now it's time....Tuesday I'm getting it cut. It's coming off. That filth and yuck from walking and working side by side with the world is coming off - but it was there to reminded me who's I was and to who I really belonged and why I was here: for the glory of God.

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10.31

A: (write in) God's grace

I found it.

Q: guilty [< >] flippant (circle one)

Ever mess something up so badly that you felt you had to make right what you did wrong? But by trying to make it right you could make it worse? Yeeeeahh, well it's an interesting spot to be in. I'm gonna try to make the best decision - pray about it and we'll see how it goes. It seems heartless, just saying that when your handling someones' emotions; there has got to be a balance, a happy-medium, between feeling guilty and being flippant. I'll let you know if I find it.

[no subject]

Summer has flown by...it's half way cliche; but nevertheless true. I wanted to update the blog....but I don't have the time, or even the subject to post something...inspirational. I finished EMT school alive, made the passing grade and got all my ride time in. I've worked this summer, and enjoy almost every moment of it. I've learned alot from it and from the kids. Got a concussion and spent some time in the hospital and couldn't walk straight for 2 weeks. Had a bit of a personality change (all due to the head injury, I'm sure) . I've been certified as a nationally registered EMT! (whooo!) Now I am getting ready to move to pursue my Paramedic degree. And somewhere between here and there, I missed it. Somewhere along the way I've slipped. My heart isn't where it used to be. It's harder, much more stoic, less compassionate - and I don't think it was the personality change due to the concussion.



My grandpa once explained his theory on why sometimes old people are so mean or crabby, when they never used to be. He said, "maybe it's because all these years, they have held in the ugly in them. And as time goes on and they get old, they just don't have the strength to hold in the "ugly" anymore and it just comes out; so all we see is the ugly of them."

Maybe thats my problem, I've been able to hold in the ugly that I've acquired on my journeys so far, but now that I'm so tiered I just don't have the, literal, where-with-all to hold in the "ugly" anymore. Most of the time I have the opportunity to give up the ugly at the end or the journeys; that opportunity hasn't happened yet, wither that or I missed it.



To say the least, I'm struggling; between choices for the future and the passion of living for today, the sensation of life's thrills and the reality of mundane life. I'm not totally sure what I'm going to do next, in this expedition of morals but as far as life and living...I'm going to do what I knew was the next step before I got lost and sidetracked along the way; move. Move to a new place, a chance of scene - to a new people, a place of fellowship; it's what keeps you accountable you know?



Help me get there, I don't want to do this - my emotions have changed but isn't that what it says? The heart is wicked, and who can know it? You've created it and you've shaped it, would you change it? There are still things I need, and I'm not quite sure what do about all of it, but I'm sure you've got an idea. I think I'm willing to run with it, I just need a push to get going. But then, I think You've already begun to nudge. I want to believe who I am and right now I'm not sure of anything.
Here are my problems, here are the issues, here is what I don't know - but You do, so I'm giving them to You.
In Jesus Name, Amen

June 12, 2008

"Fear and Faith are multually exclusive."
True.
"Courage is not a feeling, it's a choice. Choose it."
Easier said than done.

These are bits from Ben Corson's teaching on, "Overcoming Fear." Fear has never been a big deal for me. But it's been a big problem of late. Looking with hindsight I see where it creeped in. But it's gotten to the point where it has to be dealt with. The Lord and I have talked and it is going to take a time to work through this, but I want you to be encouraged please listen to it. The link is below. I'm gonna try to post verses, promise verses, bare with me as I review the promises He has given.

I can not encourage you enough to listen to it, it's only about a half an hour long...you'll be on the edge of your seat. Here's the link; click on "Overcoming Fear"

http://www.applegatefellowship.org/bensteachings.asp

Intense, gross and amazing

OBGYN. Intense, gross, and amazing.
Our instructor stood there, arms folded across his chest, suporrted by his pot belly. He looked at us; going through, row by row. "Now, let me tell you my story." He took two steps and turned toward his class. "I was in Paramedic school. I was riding with the seinor instructor and two medics." He stopped and looked in the void air and recalled memory lane. "Thats all I remember. It was in Spokane. we got a call for home delivery. 16 year old girl just found out she was pregant; 25 weeks. We wasn't living at home, she was living with her boyfriend," he used his fingers to make quotation marks for the, 'boyfriend', "We get there and she delivered the baby in the toliet. She delivered at 25 weeks. we cut the cord and they said 'oh it's at 25 weeks, not worth resucitating.' corse I'm standing there with no idea what 's going on, I'm new at this, and we bring the baby and the mom uptp the OR. We showed the nures the baby, and she said, 'oh you did the right thing...it wouldn't have been worth it.' But the old nurses...watch the old nurses, they've been around, and they *blank* well know what's going on, they know when something is wrong. So we handed off the mother and gave the child to the nurses at the nursery. Once that was done and we're standing around in the OR....what do we do when we are in the OR?"

The class responded to his question that he answered earlier, "Run!"

"Your right I did! I didn't want to be there!" the folded arms were now visual aid to his story, " I ran to the ER! Once in the ER I sat there and did my report." He mimicked what a cartoon might look like scribbling away at a piece of paper. " Then I heard a helicopter land, thought, oh that's odd, and kept writing my report. Well, I look and I see a TN and neo-natal nurse run past me. So I quickly finished my report haded it off to a tech and went up to OR. They bundled that 25 week old baby up and took it to Holy Heart. They resuscitated that baby and that baby lived for three days in neo-natal intensive care unit. Then the baby died. "

Our eyes were fixed on our storyteller, our mouths were open and we were hushed.

"I sat in the Medical officer's office. He asked me, would I have done anything different in retrospect? Gang, if it at all resembles a human...resuscitate. If it at all resembles a human, resuscitate." His arms were folded back over his chest again. He stood there and looked out at us once again. "I've made some mistakes for you already..."

He turned to cue the slide for the next subject, a quiet, "thank you," came out from someone in the class.

...if it at all resembles a human resuscitate.

There are some things that textbook just can't tell you.

Experience, they say, is the best teacher, but rarely can you afford the tuition. Though textbook can't tell you everything, let other's field trip experiences be our classroom lessons. Be it in ethics of EMS, life choices, relational decisions...anything! May we view our textbook of other people's costly experiences and fellow students field trips as a elite opportunity to learn and avoid our critical fails.
"Life is a test, pass it." I've heard a friend quote. If life be a test and critical fails present, for most of us our critical fails won't end our test, for some of us it will.
Our Instructor is there, coaching and waiting for us. He's handing out all the hints, the clues and the answers! But will we take it and head them? Or will we pay our own dear price? When such a price has already been paid?
On the cross, it was paid in full. It was paid for you and me. It's a free gift. I'd take it....I'm broke, I can't afford the price. But He can, and He did.
Thank you.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. " - Romans 6.23

It's a Good Day

You know when you see that sunset, or that empty field blanketed in fog at twilight, the breathtaking sunrise, the moonlight, or even the rainy days when you just want to dance in it...those special things. The God things. It's just been something that He's brought to my attention so much lately. It takes me back, in awesome wonder of who God is.

I was driving home from work with my windows down and my praise music up, just enjoying God's handy work and I was so excited and thrilled I began to smile and laugh! I told Him how cool, for the lack of a better word, this all was. It was beautiful. As I enjoyed it, I knew He was smiling.

He asked, "Do you like that?"

"yes" I had to reply out loud

"That's for you." He whispered. I stop for a moment, and thought about that....this amazing sunset, with majestic sunbeams streaming down dancing on the water, was for me! He painted, created and directed this production for me to see and for me to enjoy! I was speechless. I couldn't speak, so He did, "I love you Sarah."


The day I started writing this blog it was sunny....and it was just one of those 'good days'. You could feel it! But today as I'm finishing the blog and it's raining and gloomy. I have to go to class and cut up frogs. It doesn't seem like a good day. But when you stop and think....it is a good day. It's a good day "...because Jesus is Lord and I am saved..." I'm not sure what better qualifies it for a good day. I could basked in the sun knowing my God is always with me, that I am always His and I am saved or I could dance in the rain knowing I am forgiven and by the blood of Jesus I am washed clean...either way, you know what? It's a good day.

When it all spins...

EMT has started and it's in the full swing of things, we are about half way through. Just as we thought it couldn't get any faster our instructor informed us that it could.
" It's going to get so fast you head will spin." He said with arms crossed over his chest.
It already seemed I was running and couldn't keep up...in my attempt to juggle it all there were still things I still could keep in the air. Including my devotions.

So often it happens, well to me at least, where life's pace keeps moving faster and in attempt to keep up I start to drop things and without a focus point everyday, my head begins to spin. But if I could just manage my day so somewhere in the day I could refocus my priorities; sit and chat with the Author of it all. So when life kicks into high gear and everything begins to spin....I can keep my focus on Him.
You know how when ballerinas spin, but they don't get dizzy? They focus on one thing and that thing only. They pick an object and only look at that. As they go round and round and their world starts to spin...they can still stand when it's through.
An applause from the audience tells them they succeeded. And as our worlds begin to spin may we focus on one thing, may we focus on Him. When all is said and done may there be an applase from the throne of heaven and a word from our audience of One.
"Well done, good and faithful servant." - Jesus

"Holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain." - Phil. 2:16

I have Been There

God, I’m struggling. I feel so confused inside. I don’t think the most avid of writers could pen words to describe what I feel inside. It’s not that it’s too deep, too horrible, too sad….it’s all too confusing. I don’t understand. I know the right thing – but it’s not what I want to do, though it seems all too simple that way. You’ve brought to my mind that song, All Steps Are Ordered.
“…Jesus, oh Jesus, Be my song. When the battle is raging for all
that I am. You hold the future in the palm of Your hand…and all
steps are ordered, all steps are ordered….”
It’s a cool song. I feel stupid that I’m struggling with this problem.
But I am NOT a high priest that is not touched with feelings of your infirmities.
God, I’m worried about my sister. I don’t know what to think.
She’s Mine.
Of all times and of all people I have something to complain about. God, I feel alone.
So have I.
Am I to feel belittled?
Not to feel belittle…but to know I have felt the same thing; I know how bad it hurts. I know that yearning in the very being of your soul, in the inner depths of you. I know. Because I have been there. I have been to the literal depths– I have been in the loneliness of every longing heart, I’ve been at the top of mountains of joy! I have been to the place of pain where it is to be broken and to bleed, literally, child. I have been there. I know. I’ve wept. I’ve cried. I’ve sung for joy and I’ve laughed with all the goodness in the world. I’ve bled and I’ve hurt. I’ve been rejected and hated. But I’ve also been accepted and treasured. I’ve been there, you’ve been there. I never ever said you would walk your roads alone. I will be there. I promise – but when are promises fulfilled?
I’ve felt it, it’s stung me to…the everyday pains of life – the struggles the fears the pain and the sorrows. What you’ve been through, I’ve been through too. I always have, and always will. I love you – Will you walk with Me?
Don’t you know that? I love you. Will you love Me?
- Jesus

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin."
Hebrews 4.14-15

Be Mine...

It was only a few days till Valentines, February 12. I hadn’t journal in a while, so I decided that I would just get up out of bed and get my journal – and would converse with the Lord. I had been lazy the past several days and didn’t put much of an effort to set apart some time. So I updated the pages from my last entry of my very much exciting life. *sarcasm* I grabbed my Zune and put on some inspirational music and began to just talk to the Lord and tell Him my woes and troubles. I wanted to have a wonderful romantic conversation with my Lord (be it the season) but as we talked for over and hour I still didn’t get what He was seeking to show me, I could feel it in my gut.

Of late through my struggle to know that Jesus is enough, to find my value in Him, to be fully satisfied in Him and in this time He has called me apart, consecrated for Him and Him alone. The verse that is “my” verse for this time is in the Song of Songs. “I am my Beloved’s and He is mine.” That is what my theme was for these last couple months – “you are Mine,” that I am truly His. I repented of the things I had done, I knew I was set apart I knew this was my time of singleness – but I had sinned. Though I stood next to Him my hand in His, I began to look. He caught me looking and I assumed that His love was enough to pardon that. Then looking wasn’t enough, then I began to wink, again He saw me and again I thought His love was enough to pardon me but what I realized was His love was enough, enough to chasten me.

Well, as I struggled to have a two way conversation, with only hearing what I wanted to hear…I wanted to hear that I belonged, that someone loved me.
Finally, Mama came in and said, “Sarah, it’s 20-till-11. You almost done?”
“yeah,” It was getting late, I knew I had to get up early so I drew it to a close. I knew there was something else though – I couldn’t figure out what it was or more I wasn’t really listening to what it was. I finished up, our conversation did really end the way I had hoped it would, but it ended nicely. I turned out my light and laid down as I laid there I heard Him say again to me, “Yes, you are Mine but will you call Me ‘yours?!’”
It hit me, that was it…I’ve worked so hard to know that I was His that I had forgotten the rest of what the verse really meant: I am my Beloved’s and HE is MINE!

He is MY beloved, He is MY Savoir, He is MY Love, MY King and MY Prince.
Then I thought about Beth Moore’s blog, she had written a letter to her daughter who is about to be wed in little less than a week. Some of the advice she gave was this:
“Married life is hard, Baby Girl, but it is good. We commend you into Colin’s [the fiancé] arms and bid that you would never leave them…nor ever threaten to. You will inevitably fight but you can make the choice to fight well. Fights are worth having when they’re for your marriage. And for one another.” I thought about this and how I was caught “looking” and I said, no. I’m not going to lose this; what I have with Him, I’m going to fight for what I have. This marriage so to speak this relationship that I have with MY Lord, I will fight for it, it’s worth the hard times and the struggle to keep. I realized that when my hand was in His this is true, and I am His, yes, but I failed to realize that He is mine….I just don’t belong to Him it’s not a one way thing! He loves me and that’s wonderfully scandalous but I love Him and will not look and fantasies about the other lusts that surround me. I love Him, He is mine. Not in an overly possessive way, but like in the movie Emma in the end she says, “I will no longer call you ‘Mr. Knightly’ but I shall call you ‘my Mr. Knightly.’” It is so gentle, sweet, and loving, heart warming.

So in light of this holiday season – and as love fills the air and as media love fills our senses, may we remember one thing; this what the Bible says,
“I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine..." - Song of Songs. 6.3

Happy Valentines Day!

To read the rest of Beth's blog, which I really encourage you do, go to: http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/